Introduction of my Narrative.

My Narrative Writing

Here is the Introduction for my story. What do you think of it, and what can I improve on?

Family Trapped! 

 It was a gloomy night at Sunny shore bay. The Blossom family was a family of four. Two adults and two kids. The Blossom family had bragged about their brand new yacht.They knew that the only way for them to actually show off was to go to the ocean so they did.
 They sailed out for five hours straight. The People that saw them sale out five hours ago started to worry about the Blossom family and where the would have gone.
But eventually people stopped worrying about the Blossom’s and decided to go back inside.
Back at the beach were the Blossom family are they were fake laughing but they were enjoying fishing. They enjoyed it so much they forgot to think about the time. It was getting dark so they were about to leave until… Mr Blossom ran his fingers through his revolting orange hair and said with a soft reply “What way do we go?”

We were also assigned to have solutions for the problem in the story so here is mine.

Problem:

• Getting stuck in the ocean.

Solution:

- Mavis and her rescue team from the bay of shores come and rescue the blossom family.

-Mavis and some of her rescue team was flying around Sunny Shore to see if there was a family that left their camping things on shore.
- The blossoms drives there boat towards somewhere to get signal to contact an emergency place.
- They said a Karakia and A whale came to rescue them. They jump on the whale and the whale takes them back to shore safe and sound.